A Late Bloomer’s Guide to Love, Career, and (Too Many) Wedding Dresses
How many wedding dresses is too many wedding dresses? Answer: The limit does not exist.
Welcome to the circus inside my brain—aka my Substack!
Right now, my life is one big wedding spreadsheet—welcome dinners, floral budgets, Save the Dates, and even—please don’t judge me—four wedding dresses purchased eight months out from the big day. (What can I say? I have a thing for fashion.) After years of wondering if I’d ever have this moment, I’m now deep in the chaos of wedding planning and somehow loving every second of it. Sometimes, though, I can’t help but feel like I’m in the opening of that Talking Heads song from the 1980’s, Once in a Lifetime, where David Byrne’s voice echoes, “You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife, and you may ask yourself, well... how did I get here?" How did I get here?
I’ve never done things on the so-called “traditional” timeline. I’ve always felt behind. For so long, I always felt like I was running an uphill battle while everyone else just got it. Careers, relationships (both platonic and romantic), simple stability—that seemed to come so easy for others always felt complicated and out of reach for me.
I spent my twenties getting my shit together so I could finally play catch-up in my thirties. I got sober young (27, to be exact—I’m now 34), endured self-inflicting heartbreaks that hit like freight trains, and tried on apartments and new cities like I was changing outfits, hoping one would stick. And my career? How much time do you have? I tried on every hat imaginable in an industry that never quite fit, bouncing from one role to the next, searching for something that actually clicked. Then, about five years ago—already halfway through my now decade post-college—it finally did.
Some way, somehow, I’ve stumbled into an era of my life where things are actually… working out? Professionally, I’ve been at the same company for almost four years, a little over a year in my current role, and—miraculously—doing work I love without questioning every life decision that led me here. (Growth!). But honestly, that’s just one piece of it—because, I’m sorry, but we are all so much more than our jobs.
My personal life is thriving too. Friendships feel solid. My sobriety no longer feels like a tightrope walk or holding my breath. And I’ve even picked up hobbies (who is she?). I run now—like, half marathons, willingly—and twice a month, I volunteer at recovery centers for young people, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t keep your sobriety unless you give it away. For the first time ever, life isn’t just falling into place—it actually feels like it fits.
And then there’s my fiancé, soon-to-be-husband Gary—my love story that somehow clicked after what felt like a lifetime spent searching for my person. After a string of losery “Mr. Right Nows,” I’ve finally found “Mr. Right.” And, of course, because life loves irony, he is nothing like me. Where I’m a neurotic black cat—cautious, overthinking, deeply loyal but always a little suspicious—he’s the golden retriever who bounds into every room like it’s his personal stage, instantly making friends with everyone in sight. He’s outgoing, effortlessly silly, and the human embodiment of “live in the moment,” while I’m over here meticulously planning three backup plans just in case. He grounds me when I spiral, drags me into the fun when I’d rather brood, and somehow makes even the most mundane days feel like an adventure. The perfect rom-com balance: me, the tightly wound lead who didn’t realize she was waiting to be swept into spontaneity, and him, the guy who never met a stranger or took life too seriously. Turns out, opposites don’t just attract—they make a good team.
So if you’ve ever felt like you’re running behind in life or just here for the chaotic beauty of wedding planning, welcome! I’ve decided this will be my little corner of the internet where I’ll be oversharing it all. From vintage Vera Wang dresses, to comedians podcasting during COVID-19 to Ferrari con men (yes, really), I’ve got over a decade’s plus worth of stories rattling around in my brain, that I always knew were going to come out eventually. Whether in the form of podcast, a Substack, or both… that remains to be seen.
I’m documenting this season of life because:
I don’t want to forget it.
It’s a really good, really happy season. And I don’t take a second of it for granted.
And as for the four dresses? I’m told if you do it right, you only get married once—so why not go all in? If I’ve learned anything in this beautifully chaotic era of life, it’s this: Buy the dress. Take the risk. Say yes before you’ve figured out every last detail. Some things—love, career, happiness—have a funny way of working themselves out when you stop trying to control every outcome.
Stay tuned—things are just getting good. xx